{"id":2000,"date":"2008-12-24T19:45:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-24T18:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/flatuensis-interruptus"},"modified":"2022-12-24T07:26:41","modified_gmt":"2022-12-24T06:26:41","slug":"flatuensis-interruptus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/2008\/12\/24\/flatuensis-interruptus\/","title":{"rendered":"Flatuensis Interruptus"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"gca-column one-half first\"><p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<span class=\"wpsdc-drop-cap\">I<\/span>k waan me alleen, daarboven aan de trap, in het donker.<\/p>\n<p>Een sigaret, koffie,&nbsp;vreselijke buikkrampen&nbsp;maar nog&nbsp;wel een halve dag te gaan. Al wat mij rest&nbsp;is de boel te laten gaan: <em>HANGGGHHHFFF<\/em>! En nog \u00e9\u00e9n, beter en luider dan de vorige: <em>HGNHHGGHHHHNNFFF<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p>En het voelt als&nbsp;het&nbsp;plezierige equivalent van&nbsp;onverwachte motregen op&nbsp;je verhitte gezicht; <em>HANGGGGNHG!!!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Maar dan. Ruw word ik opgeschrikt uit mijn orgastisch beleven.<\/p>\n<p>\"<em>ZIE JE WEL!<\/em>\", roept ze veel te hard naar boven.<\/p>\n<p>Ik ontwaar de buitenproportionele contouren van datgene wat waarschijnlijk een vrouwelijke collega moet zijn.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"gca-column one-half\"><div style=\"background-color: #8b7d6b;\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">\"<em>IK WIST&nbsp;DAT IK WAT HOORDE!<\/em>\" en 't corpulente mens kijkt me met een triomfantelijke blik aan.&nbsp;\"<em>W\u00e0t hoorde?!?<\/em>\" gaat er door me heen,\"<em>W\u00e0t heb je dan gehoord?<\/em>\"<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Het schaamrood staat me op mijn kaken terwijl de laatste warme dampen de rand van mijn broek verlaten.&nbsp;\"<em>W\u00e0t?!<\/em>\" vraag ik me af.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Strompelend komt&nbsp;het naar boven, hijgend als een oud paard, rijp voor de slacht.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Ik meen een satanische glimlach te ontwaren maar 't kan net zo goed het happen naar lucht zijn. En terwijl ze halverwege is gaan mijn gedachten als een razende tekeer; \"<em>Weg moet ik! Weg van hier!<\/em>\"<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Nog geen drie seconden later zit ik sidderen aan mijn bureau. De deur gesloten, het licht uit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">In de gang passeert een forse schaduw. Er valt een askegel van mijn sigaret&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><div class=\"gca-utility clearfix\"><\/div>\n<hr \/>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_33036\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-33036\" style=\"width: 1270px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-33036\" src=\"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/inflatulent.jpg\" alt=\"inflatulent\" width=\"1280\" height=\"855\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/inflatulent.jpg 801w, https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/inflatulent-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/inflatulent-636x425.jpg 636w, https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/inflatulent-600x401.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-33036\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Plaats Delict.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: 0;\" tabindex=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/maps\/embed?pb=!1m18!1m12!1m3!1d2463.956225078297!2d4.292897616453014!3d51.86175567969512!2m3!1f0!2f0!3f0!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!3m3!1m2!1s0x47c44bd9187d6fab%3A0x61c38e0237ac4669!2sRijks%20Justiti%C3%ABle%20Jeugdinrichting%20De%20Hartelborgt!5e0!3m2!1snl!2snl!4v1608769639516!5m2!1snl!2snl\" width=\"1280\" height=\"600\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" aria-hidden=\"false\"><\/iframe><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":84729,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"wikipediapreview_detectlinks":true,"passster_activate_protection":null,"passster_protect_child_pages":"","passster_protection_type":"password","passster_password":"","passster_passwords":"","passster_password_list":"","passster_password_lists":"","passster_activate_user_restriction":"","passster_user_restriction_type":"user-role","passster_user_restriction":"no-role","passster_activate_overwrite_defaults":"","passster_headline":"","passster_instruction":"","passster_placeholder":"","passster_button":"","passster_id":"","passster_activate_misc_settings":"","passster_redirect_url":"","passster_hide":"no","passster_area_shortcode":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1746,865,872,9,40,52,83,101,46],"tags":[1747,1112,3069,1548,1125,2442,1442,1141,3068,3070,1549,1161],"class_list":["post-2000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-1746","category-bizar","category-frjemd","category-humor","category-meaculpa","category-Mooi-kudt","category-sosjaal","category-wier-bard","category-wurk-handel","tag-1747","tag-bizar","tag-communicatiemedewerker","tag-dji","tag-frjemd","tag-hartelborgt","tag-justitie","tag-meaculpa","tag-scheten","tag-webredacteur","tag-werk","tag-wurk-handel"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2000"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2000\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/84729"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}