{"id":2253,"date":"2010-03-27T13:18:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-27T12:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/waxed"},"modified":"2024-10-31T10:59:55","modified_gmt":"2024-10-31T09:59:55","slug":"waxed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/2010\/03\/27\/waxed\/","title":{"rendered":"Waxed Amsterdam"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"gca-column one-half first\"><p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<pre><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Zaterdag, 20 maart 2010<\/span><\/pre>\n<span class=\"wpsdc-drop-cap\">W<\/span>e -mevrouw en ik- besloten het druilerige <em>Oud-Beijerland<\/em> te verruilen voor het ongetwijfeld v-r-e-s-e-l-i-j-k zonnige Amsterdam want zo voorspeld. Er moest tenslotte nog een <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a title=\"gorloge\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/www.eamel.net\/entry_3127.php\" target=\"_blank\">nieuw horloge<\/a><\/span>&nbsp;aangeschaft worden en ook hippe kleding want des eamel's garderobe laat inmiddels enige&nbsp;<em>fashionabele<\/em>&nbsp;hiaten zien.<\/p>\n<p>En zo kon het zomaar zijn dat&nbsp;<em>onsch<\/em>&nbsp;provincialen naar <em>De Grote Stad<\/em> togen, vol met plannen. 'n Beetje cultuur, 'n beetje winkelen, 'n beetje clich\u00e9 (museumpje hier, rondvaartje daar, wellicht een verdwaalde <em>tattoo<\/em> en\/of enige stimulerende middelen).<\/p>\n<p>Kortom; fout-fouter-foudst-toerist in eigen land.<\/p>\n<p>Na de auto weggezet te hebben in <em>De Kolk<\/em>, een overjarige <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a title=\"De Kolk op Google Maps\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/goo.gl\/maps\/5kvRV\" target=\"_blank\">parkeergarage<\/a><\/span> ingegraven recht onder de beroemde <em>Amsterdamsche<\/em> palen, deden we ons op een terras tegoed aan wat waarschijnlijk de allerlekkerste <em>Club Sandwich<\/em> van de stad genoemd mag worden, bij&nbsp;<em>hoe-heet-die-tent-ook-alweer<\/em>.<\/p>\n<div class=\"epyt-video-wrapper\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\"  style=\"display: block; margin: 0px auto;\"  id=\"_ytid_57214\"  width=\"450\" height=\"640\"  data-origwidth=\"450\" data-origheight=\"640\"  data-relstop=\"1\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/QGyv_wvWUuo?enablejsapi=1&origin=https:\/\/www.eamel.net&iv_load_policy=3&autoplay=0&cc_load_policy=0&cc_lang_pref=&loop=0&rel=0&fs=1&playsinline=1&autohide=2&theme=dark&color=red&controls=1&disablekb=0&\" class=\"__youtube_prefs__  no-lazyload\" title=\"YouTube player\"  allow=\"fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy=\"1\" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=\"\"><\/iframe><\/div><span itemprop=\"video\" itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/VideoObject\"><meta itemprop=\"embedUrl\" content=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/QGyv_wvWUuo\"><meta itemprop=\"name\" content=\"\"><meta itemprop=\"description\" content=\"YouTube video\"><meta itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" content=\"https:\/\/i.ytimg.com\/vi\/QGyv_wvWUuo\/0.jpg\"><meta itemprop=\"duration\" content=\"\"><meta itemprop=\"uploadDate\" content=\"\"><\/span>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-66449\" src=\"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/wit_lijntje_300_bij_1px.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"1\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/wit_lijntje_300_bij_1px.png 300w, https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/wit_lijntje_300_bij_1px-150x1.png 150w, https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/wit_lijntje_300_bij_1px-140x1.png 140w, https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/wit_lijntje_300_bij_1px-100x1.png 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Gezeten in de summiere warmte van een vroege lentezon ontwaarde ik tijdens dit <em>bacchanaal<\/em> een tweetal dames naast ons.&nbsp;Aan de tongval te horen oorspronkelijk <em>Pools<\/em> of iets in die strekking. De ene was niet bijster interessant, de ander daarentegen een ruwe diamant: jong, bloedmooi, grote dromerige maar bovenal blauwe ogen, een goddelijke mond gevormd door twee wollige lippen en de oogopslag van een premature&nbsp;<em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a title=\"scarlett\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/images.google.nl\/images?q=scarlett+johansson&amp;oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:nl:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;ei=K_utS9_XGZDh-Qb0m9C-DQ&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=image_result_group&amp;ct=title&amp;resnum=1&amp;ved=0CB4QsAQwAA\" target=\"_blank\">Scarlett Johansson<\/a><\/span><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Terwijl <em>Moos<\/em> zich vergreep aan d'r tweede cappuccino wist ik al mijn moed te verzamelen en sprak de Oostblokse aan; \"<em>Do you mind if I take your picture? Ofcourse with the best intentions. Here; my businessca&#8230;<\/em>\"<\/p>\n<p>Haar resolute \"<em>No!<\/em>\" liet niets aan de fantasie over. Timide sloeg zij haar ogen neer maar ze bleef onvermurwbaar; plop! deed mijn&nbsp;<em>imaginaire<\/em>&nbsp;ticket-to-fame&#8230;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Om van deze schok te bekomen (het lef! Een 'nee' tegen een <em>eamel<\/em>. Tsss..) besloten we ons te laten bekneden in zo'n chinees massagehuis want je bent in <em>A'dam<\/em> of je bent 't niet.<\/p>\n<p>Het was er stil en dus werden we al rap bij binnenkomst besprongen door een veel te jonge en gebrekkig <em>Nederlandssprekende Chinese<\/em>.&nbsp;<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Na ons ervan gewist te hebben dat onze geslachtsdelen onberoerd bleven, het verschil tussen keurige en niet zulke keurige Chinese massages zit 'm meestal in de communicatienuances, werden we een dubieuze kelder ingeleid met steriele massagebedden en beduimelde gordijnen.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"gca-column one-half\"><div style=\"background-color: #b8860b;\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Er werd ons verzocht ons te ontdoen van onze kleding op de 'ondelbloek' na en te gaan liggen met 't gezicht in een te klein gat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Zo gezegd zo gedaan.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><span style=\"text-align: inherit;\">Om een kort verhaal nog korter te maken; het was wel ok\u00e9. Behalve dan dat de dames bijna onafgebroken Chinees met elkaar brabbelden en 'mijn' masseuse hele telefoongesprekken voerde terwijl zij met heur andere hand krachtig haar <\/span><em style=\"text-align: inherit;\">massagequeeste<\/em><span style=\"text-align: inherit;\"> doorzette. Enfin. Wat mag je verwachten voor \u20ac35.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Zoals <em>Mem<\/em> altijd pleegt te zeggen: <em>de tiid hald gjin skoft <\/em>en dus fluks in de kleren en naar de volgende stop.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Eens per jaar permiteer ik mezelf de aanschaf van enige stimulerende middelen omdat <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">je er zo lekker de liefde op kan bedrijven<\/span> dit het creatieve proces bevordert. En zo met enige zwoele zomeravonden in het vooruitzicht dient men zich hier grondig op voor te bereiden. Waar anders laat zich dit beter aanschaffen dan in <em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a style=\"color: #ffffff; text-decoration: underline;\" title=\"the bulldog rockshop\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/www.thebulldogshops.com\/coffeeShops\/coffee-shops-rockshop.html\" target=\"_blank\">The Bulldog Rockshop<\/a><\/span><\/em>?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Goed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Dan <em>de Dam<\/em>. Altijd een bijzondere plek om heulemaal los te gaan als het gaat om 't vastleggen van de excentrieke medemens.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">De gepensioneerde -\"<em>Meneer, ik heb m'n hele leven op de planken gestaan!<\/em>\"- xylofoonspelert (kan niet spelen, wil niet op de foto, etc.), de <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a style=\"color: #ffffff; text-decoration: underline;\" title=\"living statues\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/nl.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Levend_standbeeld\" target=\"_blank\">Living Statues<\/a><\/span> (Euhm.. Darth Vader?), de authentieke toeristen, de junks, de \u00e9chte muzikanten, de Fryske <em>hynders<\/em>, de Jezusfreaks <em>and so on<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Gezellig.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Het werd echter een stuk minder gezellig toen de hemel besloot haar afwatering open te zetten; 'n wolkbreuk.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">En wat doe je als je daar niet op gekleed bent, je camera drijfnat wordt en een paraplu op dat moment niet voorhanden is? Precies;&nbsp;<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a style=\"color: #ffffff; text-decoration: underline;\" title=\"madame tussauds\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/www.madametussauds.com\/amsterdam\/\" target=\"_blank\">Madame Tussaud's<\/a><\/span>! D\u00e9 plek waar ik als kind voor 't laatst was geweest en me van herinner dat ik daar m'n eerste <em>'ik durf borsten aan te raken'<\/em>-ervaring had.&nbsp;<em>Weird<\/em>. Wat je al niet bijblijft.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Goed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">300 foto's verder en tientallen euro's armer besloten we de kosten te drukken door een bezoek te brengen aan de <em>Wallen<\/em> want altijd leuk: <em>architectuur.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><em>Ahum<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><em>Warmoesstraat<\/em>, <em>Zeedijk<\/em>, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">chitchat<\/span> met de lokale bewoners (\"<em>Goh, u doet dat voor uw beroep, dat met die foto's?!?\" <\/em>vroeg de prostituee), een slappe hap van de <em>Febo<\/em>, varkens met overmaatse penissen en tot slot ons bijna laten verleiden tot de aanschaf van een kekke maar veel te dure <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a style=\"color: #ffffff; text-decoration: underline;\" title=\"lelo\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"http:\/\/www.lelo-vibrators.nl\/lelo\/;jsessionid=F95A5137102375CF6C5F6F600E6BAC89?__stateless=F95A5137102375CF6C5F6F600E6BAC89\" target=\"_blank\">Lelo<\/a><\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\"><em>Time flies<\/em> en zo.&nbsp;Aan alles komt een eind. Zo ook aan deze dag. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Teveel foto's, teveel tekst, teveel.&nbsp;En van dat horloge is niks meer gekomen net zomin als van die kleding. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ffffff;\">Dat wordt weer online shoppen bij <em>H&amp;M<\/em>&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><div class=\"gca-utility clearfix\"><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/gallery\/2010-03-20-waxed-adam-1440\/adam_27mrt2010-63.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.eamel.net\/blog\/wp-content\/gallery\/2010-03-20-waxed-adam-1440\/adam_27mrt2010-63.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1439\" height=\"2169\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><center><div id=\"jig1\" class=\"justified-image-grid jig-4a8add82d20687b926bf76c652118030 jig-preset-4 jig-source-nextgen\"><div class=\"jig-clearfix\"><\/div><noscript id=\"jig1-html\" class=\"justified-image-grid-html\" 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